You are carrying too much of emotional baggage. Men have been brainwashed into carrying guilt for everything since centuries. These chains of Family, religion, responsibilities, patriotism, chivalry, financial burden(burden all your life and also after death thru life insurance :)), sexual taboo(talk about it, dont talk about it).
Remove all this load from your head, it will feel lighter. Nobody is asking you not to care for your family, only dont feel so responsible for it. Even if I die today, my family will survive, life will go on: Maybe by chance, it will be even better, nobody knows.
Remove that invisible baggage. Think for yourself for a change. There is nothing wrong in being truly selfish. If you are happy, it will affect your family also as a byproduct.
But the fact remains that our environment today is the product of our parents and ancestors, their actions and reactions. You dont have to hate them for it. Its just the facts. Civilization means that men have to get better at their thinking, by removing all the baggage, its like cleaning up the hard drive, removing the viruses and defragmenting it. It sounds hard, but its actually very practical and easy.